Makeovers for the elderly - 2

Having decided to renew my wardrobe, I had determined to make a major change from black to brown for my base colour. I used to look terrific in a little black frock - in my 20s! At 80 the colour does little for one's complexion, and I wondered why I had lived with it for so long. No very radical change of retailer though, as I had decided to begin cautiously. I started with my regular stand-by mail order firm, on whom I rely for basic comfortable underwear and leisurewear, but whose clothes could in no way be called the cutting edge of fashion. I bought my first pair of brown trousers and a brown top, and was delighted with the effect.

Then I moved on to Marks & Spencer and Debenhams, still on the cautious side. From them I ordered beige cardigans and more brown tops. The style of one of the cardies didn't suit me too well, but was fashionable, and also the exact shade to go with a second pair of trousers I had bought. So I remodelled it, changing the position of the fastenings so that they did up at the neck instead of over the abdomen. I was rather proud of this, although it took me months of intermittent attempts to work out just how to do it!

Finally, more daring, I looked at Kaleidoscope, but their stuff is mostly too young for me. I have had fun trying on things which were impossible, and actually managed to buy another top. I nearly bought a conventional suede jacket as well, but after receiving two faulty items, I had to give up, because they no longer had them in stock. But I still tend to get carried away by the glamour and glitz of the stuff in their catalogue, and have to be firm with myself not to send for something more.

One of the drawbacks of doing this by mail order, is that, as with black, there are so many different shades of brown which don't go together, so one has to order more and more items in an attempt to get good matches. A great deal of overbuying went on, followed by endless trips to the post office with returns. Also of course I have had to buy a pair of shoes, a handbag, and one or two necklaces. But I think that the frenzy is more or less over now, and that I have enough new clothes to settle down with, at least until (and unless) I win the lottery.

I'm not sure that brown isn't becoming a bit boring though. I could fancy some real colour too ......

Makeovers for the elderly - 1

[I have dug this post up from among my drafts, where it has been lurking for over a year. I think the moment has come to publish it. All the pictures were captioned 'old woman' in Google images.]

A few years ago, when I was still a rookie blogger, I wrote here about a makeover TV programme Trinny and Susannah had done for the over-70s. Some time later they did a similar one for the over-60s, but this new series had a slightly different angle. Instead of just picking a couple of candidates and getting to work on them, they campaigned on a wider front this time, touring the country with a horrendous pink 'tardis' into which they lured women to be undressed, revealed, humiliated and, ultimately, persuaded to revise their approach to dressing themselves. At the same time this fearsome pair enlisted crowds of local volunteers to join them in their research, and to carry their campaigns for change into the high streets and the shops.


In the programme I watched they were aiming to persuade older women to be bolder and more imaginative, to have the courage to shop where young people shop, to go for a size smaller and not to be afraid to show off their shape. The crowd of women they had assembled went on a giant shopping spree, and their battle cry was "We want the High Street". This seemed a more practical and positive approach to the problems older women have in dressing fashionably, giving them confidence in joint action, reaching a larger number, and, we hope having a knock-on effect on manufacturers and retailers as well.





But both programmes for older women had the same shortcoming, as far as I am concerned, which I feel sure will apply to a great many large women in their seniority. "Start by dragging your boobs up from your waist with a good uplift bra" Trinny and Susannah are wont to cry. However, I imagine that I am not alone among big-busted women, in finding that a well-fitting bra, capable of dragging up a couple of well-filled but drooping F cups to an appropriate level, is likely by the end of the day, with the effects of gravity, to have become a constricting, abrasive shackle, causing the utmost discomfort. There is never any discussion of, or help with this problem on these makeover programmes; nor are we ever told if the made-over women go on wearing their new bras after the show is over. Personally, I am past
making my life a misery in such a way.


Still, there is nothing wrong with trying to change one's mindset about what one wears, and I began to consider just what I might do. I rarely go out to shop, as I am exhausted by standing around in cubicles and trying on, so I wasn't really considering a foray into Top Shop, Mango, New Look or Miss Selfridge. In any case, to do that I think I would need some support: either a young woman to cover for me, or a bunch of other oldies, to overawe by numbers any young salespersons who might be sniggering behind their hands.




I would see what I could find on that faithful friend of the sit-down shopper, the internet. I had actually made a few notes while watching the Terrible Two, and had absorbed a few helpful tips for masking the portentious bosom and slimming the Herculean hips. I had also been paying a bit more attention lately to what is being worn by the mature woman on Neighbours, the one 'soap' I can't wean myself off. Although, as we are almost certainly at least a year behind in getting the programme, that was probably not a very good guide.

[To be continued]

The dressing up game

I wrote a few days ago about the great time I had at our Growing Old Disgracefully Springfest, which incidentally was celebrating the Organisation's 20th birthday. We finished on the last night, as we always do, with a party, with singing, dancing, and readings or recitations of humorous quality. We usually put on our glad rags for this event, and this year our founder had invented a wonderful new game for us, which I can best describe as Musical Dressing Up Bag.

We had all been asked to bring anything we could to contribute to the bag, including scarves, wigs, skirts, hats etc. They all went in a black bin liner, and we stood in a circle while music was played. When it stopped, the person who had the bag had to take out and put on not one item, but as many as she could before the music started again. You can imagine this produced some hilarious results. Unfortunately I cannot share my pictures with you without asking the subject's permission first. All I can offer is the picture taken of me, and as I was never caught by the music stopping, the things I am wearing are only what I chose to wear for this special event.

I originally wore the dress to my niece's wedding, and the hat to my son's wedding. Guests had been invited to come in fancy hats, and I decorated mine myself, adding to the original black velvet with some antique lace, blue ribbon in two shades, a blue artificial flower and a pink chiffon scarf. The small picture at the top of this piece shows it in full glory. I never had the heart to 'undress' the hat again to wear on non-party occasions. The 'pearls' are plastic poppit beads, which push together and pull apart to make whatever length you like. I can't remember when they were popular it's so long ago.

I fell in love today

The most delightful young man arrived this morning to survey my house for cavity wall insulation. He was easy and chatty and helpful and nice - and good to look at. In fact, when he mentioned his wife I almost felt disappointed. For two pins, Judith, I thought to myself, you would have started flirting with him!

After a while it dawned on me that his particular appeal was that he looked and talked very like my eldest son in Australia. That of course only increased my desire to fling my arms round him. In the end I felt I should tell him why I was possibly gawping at him more than might be expected from an old woman. He took it very generously, and I continued to flutter and flap, with my normal business persona gone right out of the window. (Amongst other things I tried to make instant coffee for him with the stuff I use for filter coffee --- yuck!)

Sadly he will not be coming back to do the insulation, and when I finally shut the door on him I could not suppress a small sob - he had been so like my distant son.

I wonder how long this insulation will last before it needs redoing........................

Do not discard yet.....

I have returned from my Growing Old Disgracefully Springfest refreshed and revitalised as always. Just to remind you, we are an organisation of older women, the youngest of whom are in their late 50s, and the oldest over 90. For this annual spring gathering we are a group of 20, and our meeting place is the Wedgwood Memorial College in Barlaston near Stoke-on-Trent.

It is an adult education college, and comprises three large houses, which are beautifully decorated and comfortably appointed. In one of them we are served the most delicious and sustaining meals, and in another we have our accommodation and meeting rooms. We have this house to ourselves. It is four days of indulgence for us.

We create and deliver our own programme, according to the skills and interests which we have to offer. It is a mixture of workshops on both serious and light-hearted topics, (including writing and art or craft work), and of singing, dancing, and partying. We also walk and visit local places of interest. Our programme is pretty intensive, and we leave to go home in a state of both elation and exhaustion, but refreshed and renewed for another year.

This year, in some strange way, I also feel revalidated, as though I had been rubber stamped with the words “High quality human being in full running order. DO NOT DISCARD YET!” I now find that I am driving with more confidence and feel steadier on my feet. What is more, I realise that my usual safe, comfortable routine is stultifying, and that my love affair with my computer carries the risk of becoming isolating, even though it also opens me up to new things, ideas and people.

How has this happened? Following the death of my husband, I missed last year, the only time in 12 years, and I felt that the gap had created some distance between me and the others. So I have needed to look carefully to understand what I believe has given the added value to my experience this time. I think it must be for the following reasons.

I have been sharing with others (which means not necessarily getting my own way!)
I have been able to observe and meet the needs of others.
I have received the care and attention I have tried to give.

I have been able to use my skills or talents to please others.
I have been creative in a variety of ways.
I have sung and I have danced and I have had fun.
And I have laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

And hugged and hugged!

And while doing all this we have perhaps been able to ignore our aches and pains for a time, while turning our energies towards communal enjoyment in a way that we are not often called upon to do at home, especially if we live alone.

In words taken from our website: " We are a network of women who support each other, share our experiences and knowledge, learn from each other and grow together in a safe and non-judgemental environment."

Now for the plug! Why not join us? You have to be a woman, but you can start growing old disgracefully at any age. Membership is £15 a year, £7.50 if you join after 30th June. You get four newsletters a year, access to national residential events and workshops, and the possibility of joining a local group if there is one in your area. We do have overseas members - I shared a room this time with a friend who comes over from Amsterdam twice a year, to our spring event and our Annual Gathering in September. Look at the six women below when they started the organisation 20 years ago; five of them are still with us. To find out more, contact the Membership Secretary, Norma Randle - e-mail -info@growingolddisgracefully.org.uk

[The small pictures are the house we occupied, a beautiful frosted glass window in a toilet, and encounters in the extensive grounds.]