Epiphany

Today is the Christian Feast of Epiphany, which celebrates the manifestation of the divine nature of Jesus. This day makes me think of certain moments of epiphany of my own, when a sudden insight or perception of reality has led to beneficial change in my life.

The first of these which I recall was when, at the age of 25, I suddenly realised that despite the prevailing culture for ‘nice’ girls in the 1950s, I did not have to remain a virgin until I married just because my mother said I should! From that moment I gave up the unequal struggle and changed from the tortured, neurotic creature that I was into a reasonably relaxed and tolerably happy person. Three years later I was married and became a ‘good’ girl again … from choice I might add!

Some 50 years on another moment of revelation occurred, thanks to the loving support in a crisis of a group of very dear friends. I suddenly understood, in the simplest terms, an aspect of my behaviour which I very much wanted to change. Out of this illumination came the following poem. I leave you to guess which verse is about me.

“This is me - please love me!”

She’s rather loud, and vulgar too, and says what’s on her mind.
Although she doesn’t mean to, she can sometimes be unkind.
If challenged, she will say to you “I speak just as I find”.
But what she really wants to say is: “This is me - please love me!”

She’s forceful and efficient and she likes to take control.
She organises everything and swallows problems whole.
She’s critical and bossy, and she thinks she knows it all.
But what she really wants to say is: “This is me - please love me!”

She talks a lot about her health, and worries till she’s ill.
She thinks she cannot do things - say’s “I might” and not “I will”.
And when she’s nothing else to do she takes another pill.
But what she really wants to say is: “This is me - please love me!”

She’s fawning and compliant and she never has a view.
She likes to tag along with you in everything you do.
And if you ask her what she wants, she says “It’s up to you”.
But what she really wants to say is: ” This is me - please love me!”

© Judith Taylor 2002

If you recognise someone you know, try listening to the real message and responding in a loving way. It can work wonders …
for both of you!

[Picture by Google Images]