A condom with a goldfish in it ...

How, you may be asking yourself, would anyone dream up a title like that? Well - that is exactly what I did, I dreamed it. I don't remember anything else about the dream except that I had had people staying in my house who were strangers to me, and that after they had gone, I went into my lavatory and found, hanging from the end of the toilet roll fixture, a condom with a goldfish swimming around in it!

I very rarely talk about my dreams, as however enthralling they are to oneself, they are almost invariably boring and unintelligible to others. But this I just had to share, for the sheer unimaginable absurdity of it. So if my readers needed any proof that I am a mad old woman, you have it now.

And I am still trying to work out whether, in my dream, my departing guest was leaving me a 'thankyou' gift, or giving me the finger!