Hat dressing

I am not much of a one for handicrafts – I am more at home with words than materials – but every so often my life has called for an unusual hat, and I have thoroughly enjoyed creating something for the occasion.

The first of these was in 1969 when I was playing the part of an elderly lady (which I now am) for the local amateur dramatics group. I was Miss Bourne, a teetotal spinster with a parrot, in a play set in the 1920s called The Ghost Train. I bought a plain black toque from a charity shop and added lots of net, a pheasant feather, and all the artificial trimmings I could buy at Woolworth's. They had no fruit so it had to be radishes! I think you will agree that the effect is pretty sensational! The narcissus was not fixed, and the cheeky young man character used to lift it out when I wasn’t paying attention and stick it in his buttonhole - a nice piece of business which he and I invented.

This was dressed for a Victorian music hall, a form of entertainment which seems to feature largely in my life. I bought the boater in Luton, Bedfordshire, where they are made, and again added net, and a very pretty feather hat trimming already made up, which I had inherited. I had a purple skirt which exactly matched the purple feather, and a genuine old lace blouse.

A holiday in a Butlin's hotel in Brighton found me needing another music hall hat for Fancy Dress Night I had some appropriate clothes, fortunately, but no hat. So in the hotel shop I bought a cheap straw and lots of crepe paper, and with a packet of pins fixed it up with rosettes and ribbons. I remember I won second prize and got a cuddle from the Redcoat!

Now this was far more serious. After my heart surgery in 1993
I signed up for a 3-mile sponsored walk, organised jointly by the British Heart Foundation and the local footpaths association, which had just reopened the riverside right-of-way we walked along. This time I bought a glazed straw from a charity shop, and drew and cut out the emblems and the cards myself. Only two other people on the walk took up the hat challenge, so we all got a prize. Oh, and I also wore a sweatshirt with the legend : Middle-aged Mutant Ninja Mum!

And so to my last creation, for my son's wedding, which was a Mad Hatters' wedding with everyone wearing fancy creations, some of them highly inventive and comical. This was a real class hat in black velvet in the first place, worn once to the opening of an exhibition by Princess Anne. It already had the black flower on it. I found a lovely piece of real old lace, some ribbon, a blue artificial flower and a pink chiffon scarf, which all together matched my dress. I felt a million dollars wearing it and feel it deserves a second picture from a different angle.

Chess game

"Stupefied and lethargic in the heat, I sat and watched a sort of closely choreographed, three-dimensional chess game, in which the pieces on the board were children and grandparents, food and drinks, chairs and laundry, toys and the telephone - but only one player, my son, moving pieces in all directions with both hands and feet, in a continuous play of astonishing intricacy and virtuosity."

Crones and Cronies

The main reason for my holiday last week was to attend the Annual Gathering of Growing Old Disgracefully, where I go to meet with the crones and cronies who are members of this organisation for women. I don’t think it is amiss to give it an annual plug here on my blog. Who knows, I might attract a new member or two - we do have them in many different parts of the world.

But first I should say something about the word "crone". I used to accept the common dictionary definition of "an ugly, frightening, witchlike old woman". But l have since become aware of a quite different meaning and culture attaching to the word, which I find much more acceptable. This can perhaps briefly be expressed as a crone being a woman in her third age who is to be honoured for her long life, her strength and her wisdom. And in our case, as I once wrote about our members, "women who are colourful, interesting, vibrant and full of panache"!

Our annual get-together, organised each year in a different venue by one of our local groups, has grown over the years from a one-night to a three-night event. The programme comprises one full day of workshops, with a choice of three or four offered by members, in each of three sessions. Subjects include such things as writing, drawing and painting, music, singing and dance, various kinds of massage and other therapies, and more serious subjects such as How to Be Happy, Roaring Through the Glass Ceiling, The Generation Gap, Living Well With Less, and Ideas and Inventions.

On the second full day we have our Business Meeting in the morning, and the option in the afternoon of a coach trip to see the local sights, or free time to spend as we will. On all three evenings we are offered some form of entertainment, frequently participative, and we fill in all the gaps with meeting and talking to old friends, making new ones, and laughing a great deal. It is always very hard to say goodbye on the last morning and tear ourselves away, exhausted, but stimulated and refreshed.

You are never too young to start growing old disgracefully ….. in fact, I would say you need to start young, just as you need to develop good eating habits early on, in order to live a healthy, happy life in old age. You can find out more about our aims and ethos, and also how to join, on our website here.

More inventions

Last week I spent a couple of days with my youngest son Ric, the street performer. He lives near Hebden Bridge in West Yorkshire, a lovely little town which I had not visited before. I gave my camera a good workout, and if you are interested you can see my pictures here. Whenever I stay with him I find something interesting to photograph. A year ago it was spare legs, and he was so pleased with the picture I took that he framed it and hung it in his workroom where the legs are also hanging on the wall. I was well chuffed!


What intrigued me this time was his hands-free Ikea dustbin. I had been trying to open it with my right foot on the pedal to drop a teabag into it, but this got me all of a twist, until I realised it would be much easier if I used my left foot, which would leave me still standing square in front of the bin! When I questioned the arrangement, he explained that he had been fed up with having to use one hand to open it, leaving only one hand for scraping plates etc, so he worked out this rig. It's hard to believe, but when you press the pedal, the lid actually lifts at the front, and Bob's your uncle, as they used to say.

The pedal came from a 'hi-hat' cymbal stand from a drum kit, and if you don't know what that is, which I didn't, I have found a picture for you.

Yesterday afternoon one of my grandsons had his eighth birthday party, and Ric (who is his godfather) entertained them with an outdoor game which he has invented and constructed called "Card Sharp Capers". This involves guessing the values of giant playing cards, with wrong guesses incurring penalties of buckets of water tipped over their heads! Two children play at a time, and can enjoy the fun of pulling the handle to douse each other.

Word fancies

Travelling home with my son Ric yesterday, I was intrigued by this message on the back of a car park ticket he had picked up while at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and left sticking on his windscreen.

"What on earth is a 'zomph area' ?" I asked him innocently.

I leave it to my readers to come up with some imaginative definitions!

One blog or two?

Just time before I go tomorrow to leave you with a question.

Now that I have begun to write autobiographical pieces, such as those about my childhood and schooldays, I am toying with the idea of putting them in a second blog, so that it reads more like a continuous life story. I have noticed that quite a lot of people have two or more blogs, but I am afraid I might lose some of my readers if I diversify!

So, if anyone cares to tell me if they think they would read two blogs by me, or if it is more interesting all packed in together, I shall be very grateful for your comments.

Creepy crawlies

This is the caterpillar of the Sycamore Moth

This is the caterpillar of the Elephant Head Hawk Moth

It's caterpillar time round my way. I will leave them to speak for themselves while I go on holiday for a week. I'll be back in my blogging chair again by Monday 11th September. Hope you'll miss me.
~:)